When we talk with someone we usually choose our words carefully. We want to convey our message clearly and concisely. We don't want to be confusing. We also consider our audience, our listener. Are they friend or family, maybe they're a coworker. Are they a subordinate or superior? How are they feeling at the moment? Are they upset, happy, sad, nervous, joyful? We have to think about the situation, too. Do I have something urgent to pass on or is this a casual chat.
So much goes on so fast when we talk to somebody that it's almost beyond our noticing. Nearly automatic, in fact, especially if it's someone we're really familiar with.
And yet, are we that careful with the people we talk to most? Do we choose our words as carefully with that special person as we would when we talk to a stranger? I bet not.
We tend to take our closest friends and family a little for granted. We say things in a rush and just assume they'll understand that we're not really mad at them we're just in a hurry or "stressed" or still upset about that other thing we didn't tell them about.
Sounds rude doesn't it? We do it All. The. Time. And I'll tell each and everyone that I know exactly who you do it to...
Yourself. For all our care when we interact with the deli clerk, the delivery woman and the restaurant server we talk to ourselves like crap. Guarantee it. Think about what your self-talk sounds like. Dollars to donuts it isn't uplifting, positive and encouraging like it is when you talk to your kids. Or even just polite like when you talk to the cashier at the grocery. Nope. You're mean. You're impatient, You're short tempered. With the person you spend all your time with! You bastard!
One word for you. Stop it. You probably are good to yourself at least once a day. Stay there. Whatever that moment is stick with it. Grow into another one. Find the positive and nurture it. Let your mind rest on that thought and the emotion that goes with it.
The most powerful words in the universe are the ones you say to yourself.